Resides in my house. This one is sneaky, making it harder to resist her charms. Usually, when I see Nutella at the grocery store I am able to resist. It's the #1 reason why I eat a snack before going grocery shopping, after all. But on those rare weak occasions, when Nutella whispers from an end cap so invitingly, "Hey, let's have some fun...." I find that she has snuck into my grocery cart.
When we get home, I try to hide her in the cupboard, but she always ends up near Peanut Butter. After PB wants to be Nutella when she grows up. All silky and smooth, with chocolatey whispers and hazelnut dreams, poor PB just can't compete.
Now, Nutella isn't brass and bold, like some of the other characters I hang out with. That's why she's invited around more often than, say, Chocolate Cake. Chocolate Cake just chills on the counter, yelling "Hey! I'm in here! I'm lonely and lovely. Come eat me, baby! There's cold milk in the fridge. We can do it nice and slow!" Rawr. That's nice when you're younger, but as you mature, you want friends who are more refined. This is why Nutella is so sneaky. She pretends to be refined and Ooh-La-La French, but really she's just a slut in a beret. Not that there's anything wrong with that, since she does clean up nicely.
Whenever I open the cupboard, she's there, peeking out at me from behind PB, who's giggling at my gaping mouth. She flirts and reminds me of her charms, and how great she would be on a piece of multigrain bread. I tell her I've just eaten a delicious meal that was filling and balanced, and she tells me that NOTHING is balanced without chocolate. Point taken.